You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I think my moral compass just broke
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