Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
