Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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