You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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