do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Edward fifth and chaser hands
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Randomize