first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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