You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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