if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
accomplished twins. life is a go
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
