I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
