I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
