Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
now i know why i became what i already was.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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