You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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