Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
