Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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