We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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