I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
