If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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