...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
