??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize