You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
