He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
