i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize