tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
