So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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