I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
there is puke in my bra ... again
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
