there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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