come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
