i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
