dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You took a bar mat shot.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
