You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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