Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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