In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
