I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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