I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
