so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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