letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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