I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
