if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
