I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
