Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
