If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
