You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
