I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize