we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize