On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
