If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
