Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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