He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
