Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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