Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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