Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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