Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
