i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
