Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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