if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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