yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
And then he peed in my hair
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