I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
