Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize