Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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