its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
God, I missed his penis.
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