So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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