I wanna bring you to show and tell
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
