the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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