I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Dear god my vagina.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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